A new debate is raging online, and it’s threatening to tear the NEWS10 ABC newsroom apart. Does a straw have, one hole, two holes, or no holes?

Yes, straws. Those pieces of plastic, or metal, or plant-matter used to sip up iced coffee and soda and juice and cocktails. You know them. You use them. Now, how many holes does one have?

The debate started, as these things often do, as a thread on Reddit, but has quickly spread around the internet, igniting debates online and in real life.

The arguments have broken down into three main camps: one hole, two holes, and no holes.

One Hole

Proponents of the “one hole” theory argue that a straw is like a doughnut.  It’s one piece of material with one connected hole all the way through. The “long plastic doughnut” theory. The Oxford English Dictionary defines a hole as a “hollow place in a solid body or surface,” which would seem to lend credence to Team One Hole.

Two holes

Team “Two Holes” argues that a straw has an entrance and an exit, and thus has TWO holes. Imagine a pipe. If something goes in a pipe in your house, crosses town underground, and then comes out on the other end of town. The two ends of the pipe are part of the same system, but are two unique and distinct holes. Team Two Holes argues a straw is no different.

No holes

Enter, Team “No Holes.” This team of philosophers argues that the entire debate is completely wrong. Team No Holes argues a straw is just a rolled-up rectangle. An ideal straw, they say, would have no holes, otherwise it would leak. Others argue a straw can have infinite holes. Just keep cutting it in half…

My head hurts… Anyone up for an iced coffee?